This week has been a busy week relating to baby number two. I had my first appointment with my midwife and I had my 12 week scan too.
The first appointment with my midwife was pretty straight forward, we went through history of illness and anything that could affect the baby during pregnancy or labour. Thankfully everything is ok on the physical side of things and my pregnancy should be pretty straight forward like Alfie’s was.
The birth and labour side is where it gets complicated, I had an emergency section with Alfie so I need to take into consideration everything that happened during labour to make a decision on birth this time round.
The only concern for me during this pregnancy is my mental health, obviously I had post natal depression with Alfie and I still suffer with anxiety now. I’m being referred for councelling during this pregnancy. At first I felt like an absolute idiot having to even go but it might be good for me to talk to someone. I’ve been through a lot in my life, and I’ve never spoke about it so maybe I need to get the weight of all that off my shoulders and clear my head. I don’t currently take tablets for depression and anxeity as I made the decision myself that I didn’t want to take them while growing a baby. Say what you will, but that was my decision.
The scan was straight forward, the lady who did my scan said that this baby is a poser (like Alfie) and she said everything looks normal for how many weeks I am. The only downside was that I felt it was quite rushed and she didn’t really show me the screen much. So I don’t feel like I could see my baby, I usually cry at my scan looking at my new baby but this time I didn’t have chance to cry as she didn’t show me much. I’ve come out of the scan a bit deflated really and been looking at the scan and worrying it doesn’t look right. But she would of said wouldn’t she?
I do worry during pregnancy unfortunately and last night I did cry. I hate being so anxious about everything. I’m saving up for a scan at 16 weeks, I don’t think I can wait until 23rd Nov when my 20 week scan is to know everything is ok. And at least if I have a private scan they spend time showing you everything unlike NHS where we were in and out within 5-10 minutes.
I have an appointment booked with a consultant to discuss birth options, the midwife ordered my notes as we’re not 100% sure why I ended up being rushed down for surgery during Alfie’s birth so hopefully I can then start to make a decision on how I want this one to go. I was adamant I wanted a section again but I’m willing to try for a VBAC if my notes from last time aren’t too scary.
Alfie came to the scan and absolutely loved it. He was pointing to the screen and saying, ‘aww, mummy’s baby’ and then kept trying to lift my top up to have a look after the scan.
I had the test for Down’s syndrome at my 12 week scan, they take measurements from the ultrasound and then take some blood and send you a letter if low risk and ring you if it’s more of a possibility that your child can be born with it. Hopefully all comes back ok from those tests like Alfie’s did.