This week has been a massive week for me and Alfie. This time last week I was sat thinking how I’m going to be stuck in this house forever and how unhappy im going to be for the rest of my life and today I’m sat thinking ‘I hope I get this house’.
Yes, for those of you that maybe haven’t read my posts this week, you read it right. I said house!
I’ve been saying for months that I wanted to move out and on Tuesday I thought right, enough is enough. I was fed up of constantly feeling upset and wanting to just sit and cry and I knew it wasn’t right to be feeling this way. I’m already on tablets for depression and basically living here wasn’t exactly helping my recovery.
Anyway, on Tuesday I rang the private housing liaison officer to talk about private renting. I was fed up of waiting for a council house so I went for it and rang. She told me to come in the next day to speak to her so Wednesday came and I was sat waiting for her in the reception nervously- I didn’t expect anything good to happen out of all this as it was just an avenue of housing I have never explored or asked questions about.
It was great news, she informed me she had somewhere and I could afford it so I went away with a massive beaming smile on my face.
On Thursday she asked if I could make a viewing on Friday which I could so i drove along to the area on Friday, met the landlords and had a look around the house.
I really want this house, I need my space, alfie needs space, and we need time together. I was finding it tough to even play with my son as I was getting comments on how I don’t leave him to play on his own but then when I didn’t play with him then I would get asked why I wasn’t. I was resenting being a mother and hated that I was, I know it sounds awful and it’s so sad how I even felt like I didn’t want alfie anymore. I’ve just hated my life for so long so I just want to get back on the right path and enjoy being a mum again. This house will give me the chance to start a new life with my baby.
I’m looking forward to having independence, I know it sounds silly but washing my own pots, doing the washing and housework are things im actually looking forward to!
I’ve been looking at furniture and it’s all so exciting. I shouldn’t get to excited in cast but I can’t help it!
I really hope I get the words I want from the landlords tomorrow.
Please keep everything crossed!