Right, this is a ranty post. Apologies to you all but I actually feel like I need to get this off my chest.
I have a facebook. And I often wrote statuses about how I feel. Some good. Some bad. It’s my facebook I can write what I want.
Yesterday, at work- a work ‘friend’ asked me what was wrong. Erm.. Nothing I replied, hiding something.
You see, I haven’t felt happy for ages- I suffer from post natal depression, it’s normal for someone to feel down in the dumps from time to time. It’s not a choice- it’s just the way it is.
He replied, ‘you would think your life was a massive drama’.. Well yeah in my head it does have drama. This is coming from someone who has never had depression and doesn’t have a child. No one quite understands the extent of the feelings that come with PND/depression. One minute you can be on top of the world and next you feel you have nothing. You feel lost- you have everything you possibly could want but you feel in a dark room and don’t know which way to get out. You can’t say ‘you would think your life is a massive drama’ because you have no idea!
You can’t say ‘snap out of it’, we would if we could but we can’t. I wish it was that easy.
You can’t say ‘sticks and stones and all that’, words can be hurtful- not only with depression. But the depression makes me, personally, a lot more sensitive to comments and remarks.
You can’t ask us what’s actually wrong, we don’t know.
I feel bullied at work because I have a child and I don’t feel happy at home either. Don’t get me wrong I am trying to sort this all out but you know when you just feel alone!?